Thursday, May 14, 2009

Pictures from the Park

Yesterday was a lovely day, so we went to the park. The good thing about walking is you can go to places like the park without eating mulch. Walking also tires you out faster. The negative about walking is you are into EVERYTHING. I can't take my eye off you for a second. The crib isn't even safe anymore, you try to climb out and get your legs stuck between the bars.

Walking the planks...

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Playing chase..

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Getting mad at the stairs and showing your teeth...

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Peek A Boo, Mommy sees you!

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Tired out and ready to go home..

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Monday, May 11, 2009

Every Day is Mother's Day

As I get older, holidays don't mean as much as they did. Since I've had you, I know you will rekindle the excitement about Christmas, Easter and Halloween. You will help bring the kid buried inside back to the surface. Mother's Day and my own Birthday don't really mean very much. Honestly, I feel like it's just another day. Most holidays I have to work and I don't really cry and whine about it. Actually, I made really good money yesterday because people felt sorry for me. Suckers! I try to celebrate each day I have with you regardless if the calendar has a star or fancy print telling me that today should be different because it says so.

Sundays are always extremely long days for me. Waking at 3:30am to open the restaurant, getting off the floor hopefully by 3pm and then driving to MawMaw's to get you. Usually, we get back home by 5pm and I feel a bit like a zombie. On Saturday night's Daddy always makes the drive with you to Southern Pines, so I can have an hour or so to myself. This Saturday night, I actually took the time to shave because I'd like to wear shorts sometime this summer and not scare the children at the park into thinking Sasquatch has returned. All I could think about on our drive home was that I needed to clean out the bathtub before I gave you a bath or you'd choke on a hairball. It wasn't something I wanted to do after working all weekend.

Every time when walk through the door, Daddy will pop out and say, "HI Baby!!". You just beam at him. If he happens to be in the shower or outside, you will search for him waiting for your greeting. Then, he'll take you to our bed and let you jump around while I wash my face. As I headed to the bathroom yesterday, to clean the tub, I smelled Comet. Daddy had already disinfected the entire bathroom and even got the soap scum off the shower door. It was the best present I could have received for Mother's Day. A way to a man's heart may be through his stomach but for a woman's heart it's keeping her house clean and loving her children.

When I got out of the bathroom, he had you on the bed with a card. I opened the card and it was a skunk saying "I'm a little Stinker" and he'd signed it, "You are the best Mommy EVER, Love Chloe." You thought the card was for you, you kept trying to rip off the skunk. If you could talk, I hope you'd say the same thing. He told me he was going to treat us to dinner and I gave you a bath in the clean tub while he picked it up.

He returned with my favorite pizza, wings and Nerds. Daddy has turned us into Nerd addicts. I don't think I'd eaten a Nerd since I was nine, at the movies. The last few months, he'll come home with a box of Nerds and we'll share them in bed at night. He'll just pour them into his mouth put I like to pour mine into a little pile on my blanket and savor them one at a time. He even has shared them with you and you'll walk over and open your mouth when you see the box.

But last night, he found rainbow Nerds, in a theather sized box. He was real excited about it and already opened the box on the way home. I picked up the box which I thought was sealed and Rainbow Nerds scattered all over the kitchen floor. You were on them like Donkey Kong. I never have seen you move so fast. You dropped to the kitchen floor like Vanilla Ice and scurried around the floor like a mouse shoving Nerds into your mouth. We couldn't stop laughing. I joked it would be a good activity to keep you busy, the "Raining Nerds" game.

We all ate pizza together and you devoured your slice, even the mushrooms.

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When you got to the crust, you held it like your blankie. Cradling it close to your face so you could give it some love.

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By the time we finished dinner, it was late and you were ready for bed. Daddy and I headed to bed too, with the box of Nerds. I was taste testing all the flavors of the rainbow(I like the tangy ones best) and he pulled another card out of the nightstand.

"You are a wonderful mother to Chloe and I see that everyday by how much you love her. It makes me love you even more. She will one day look back and see that and thank you so much for being there every step of the way. She couldn't ask for a better mother and teacher. Thank you for allowing me to be there and see it. I love you and Chloe so very much."

I am not an overly emotional person. Tears sprung from my eyes after I read those words. I guess Mother's Day is special because we are told that we are appreciated. That our love and work to be a good mother doesn't always go unnoticed. I hope one day, you will tell and feel the same things that were written in that card.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

In Motion

A great video captured yesterday, he even managed to get your "ugly, huffy" face.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

How You've Grown

I finally got a new charger and battery. I wake up early now, even on my days off so I can get some things done while you sleep. As I was editing these photos, I recalled how you were a little bean always attached to my boob last April. Now, you are a long, lean green bean that likes to grab a hold of my leg and cling to it like a monkey when I walk by.

These are the pictures taken at Papa Walt's house. I made him chocolate dipped strawberries and cream filled strawberries for his birthday. You like the cream filled ones.

Michelle's Masterpiece_33_1

Like I said, you are into everything. Trying to hold you to keep you out of trouble is like trying to hug a wet eel.
Mother and Daughter


Your first steps. You can tell by the look on your face you aren't too steady. I think you are shocked you can walk sometimes. You usually will walk into my arms and bear hug my neck. Like, "Whew! What a journey, I'm safe!"

Yes I Can

We went shopping at Walmart on Monday and I found this water mat. Water sprays from the mat and fills the bottom. I thought you'd love it since you are my mermaid. I set it up when we got home, put on your water pants and Crocs and walked you over to it. You were curious about the water sprays. When I put you on the mat, you had a panic attack. You were shocked by the COLD hose water. You didn't know which way to go to escape the cold water spraying you. I had to put down the camera and rescue you. I hope you adjust to the swimming pool. Maybe if I am holding you, you won't be as fearful. Mommy is getting frozen too.



I took you inside and ran a hot bath for you. Once again, you were like a fish. You laid back and enjoyed your bath for awhile. Usually, you'll flip over as soon as I wash your hair but this time, you relaxed.


But you got mad that I was ruining your bath time with pictures. Flashes that hurt your eyes and bounced off the tub. So you squealed in protest and I captured a good shot of your teeth. They way they are growing now, you'll be lucky to have a full set by age four. The front two look so big, I don't know if 14 more will fit.

This is my favorite picture I took this week. I think it captures your personality and attitude the best. You give strangers this look. It's your "I'm taking it in and analyzing it" look.


I love my little Toot Toot,

Thursday, April 23, 2009


Dear Baby Girl,

I haven't posted in awhile because I haven't been able to take pictures. My camera battery died and I can't find the charger. I searched all the local stores for lithium batteries and no dice. I finally broke down yesterday and ordered a new charger and back up battery online from Samsung. I have had withdraw from lack of pictures. I feel bad I lost a month because everyday you change.

I have changed my lifestyle the last couple of weeks. I was feeling so tired, when you took a nap, so did I. I would feel guilty for letting the house cleaning slide. I decided to start taking care of myself again. Taking vitamins, eating better and yesterday I even did a workout video during your naptime. I can barely lift my arms over my head today, my triceps are in shock. Because I have quit some bad habits and started the good ones again, I have more energy. Last night, I finished a novel called "My Sister's Keeper". It was the saddest ending and I was crying in the bed at 10:45pm when I closed the book. It was a book about a mother's love and loss. It scared me because it made me think about how my life would turn upside down if you ever got terminally ill. My favorite line from the book was, "We do not have children, we receive children."

You are the greatest gift I have ever been given. You have grown in such a character. The other day, I was in the kitchen and I heard something in the bathroom. I found you playing in the toilet. "Splish, splash!" I was grossed out but couldn't help but laugh. Thank God I had bleached it out two days before. I closed the door to the bathroom but somehow you opened it again. I caught you before you started splishing around again. You love water, always have. So, this summer, I will sign you up for the water babies swim class.

I cannot take my eyes off you for a minute now. Yes, it was funny you were obsessed with the toilet but it could be very dangerous too. You will open the cabinets and pull out your oranges and applesauce and yell, "EEEEeeeeeeee". That's eat, you just don't have the T part down. You broke the DVD player the other day, because you love to push buttons now. You ejected your DVD and then forced it closed again. You'll push "OFF" on the TV and get pissed because Elmo is gone but you still can hear him. Did I mention you snapped my cell phone in half two weeks ago? We had to sit at Alltel for over an hour last Wednesday so I could get a new one. That's why I need my vitamins, to keep up with you and hopefully grow two eyes in the back of my head.

You have started to walk, all by your lonesome. You look like baby Frankenstein. Real stiff legged with your arms out for balance. This morning, we went to Papa Walt's to celebrate his birthday. You got tired of crawling on the tile floors, it hurt your knees. So, you stood up and Frankenstein walked over to me. I counted eight steps. We clapped our hands and you glowed. They even got a picture of you walking, hopefully they'll email it to me soon. Once you are on carpet, you crawl again because it's faster.

You mastered Pat-a-Cake, the clapping part but now you'll roll it up and roll it up. I was working with you on blowing kisses last night in the tub. You couldn't figure out how I was making a kiss noise with my mouth. I kissed your hand to try to show you. You were trying you best in impress me. You decided to try to flick your tooth for sound effects then throw out your hand. I think you scratched your gum because you had a funny look on your face. I busted out laughing, I hadn't laughed so hard for a long time. You looked at me and grinned ear to ear, you impressed me after all. Mission accomplished. You still are confused about blowing a kiss.

Thank you Chloe, for bringing me such joy and laughter. I hope to get some pictures soon. You now have four teeth. The top ones are almost down all the way. My, what big teeth you have. They look like mine. I can't wait until you can "cheese" for the camera.

All My Love,

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Poor Pig-Pig

When I walked into Mrs. Y's to pick you up after work yesterday, the stench hit me like a ton of bricks. I smelled vomit. When you saw me, you didn't come zipping over as usual, clap your hands or even jump up and down. All you could do was smile. You didn't have the energy or any zip left.

Mrs. Y said you refused to eat anything all day. When you finally drank some milk you vomited it all up almost instantly. I gathered you and the soiled clothes up and headed home. On the short ride home, you will usually blabber about your day. If I turn around and play peek-a-boo you normally will cackle but yesterday, it took a lot out of you just to grin and show your jack-o-lantern teeth in the car.

When we got home, I took your temperature and you had a fever. I was drawing you a bath because you smelled like vomit still and I heard you cry. Daddy brought you in the bathroom because you vomited again. When I took off your clothes and diaper, you had the worst smelling watery diarrhea too. He cleaned up the carpet while I bathed you. We still don't know what bodily fluid was all over the carpet because it was coming out of both ends.

You wouldn't even eat a cracker which was shocking because you normally eat anything handed to you. You even try to eat books and plastic toys. We knew you were sick so I went ahead and called off work. It turned out to be a good decision because you work up crying around 12am and you'd thrown up again in the crib.

As I stumbled out of your room in the middle of the night, I felt wetness seeping out of your diaper onto my arm. I changed your stinky diaper in the dark and when I was trying to wipe you, you screamed like never before. You flailed your little arms and your hands shook like leaves. I turned on the light and your little jay-jay was as red as a fire engine from the bad diarrhea. I felt awful, the wipes must have really burned. Daddy woke up from your cries and helped strip your crib while I tried to comfort you. You kept gagging and drooling. I offered you some G2 Gatorade and you gulped it down like you'd been in the desert for a week. I stayed up with you for over a couple of hours. You actually felt so bad you snuggled with me on the couch. You never want to snuggle anymore, you are too busy exploring the world. Places to go and people to see!

You haven't drank any milk since yesterday but that's okay. You do want Pedilyte and Gatorade. You held down some dry toast and banana this morning so I think you are on the mend. You had us worried though because when you refuse to eat, we know something is VERY wrong. Hope you are back to you little Pig-Pig self tomorrow.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Have I Told You Lately

Dear Chloe,

A lot of times I write about what you have accomplished. I haven't written about how I feel a lot. It was a big adjustment becoming a mother especially since the first 30years of my life was spent childless. I was selfish. I could do anything I wanted, at any time. If I was tired I took a nap, if I was hungry I ate. People would tell me life would never be the same after giving birth but they didn't tell me why or how.

I'm not the same person, I've become a mother. Your needs are more important than my own. I haven't slept in past 7am since your birth, there have been weeks when I haven't had the time to shave my legs and I have 2 inch growth, there are days I come home from work and I'm starving and tired but you must have a bath and get fed first. I can no longer go shopping whenever I please, I learned this a month or so ago. We got a late start and shopping/paying bills overlapped into your nap time. When we got home, an hour later than normal nap time, you refused to take one. That night, you were so overly tired, you fought sleep. It took me almost an hour to get you down. I vowed to never again miss your nap time. That means that I must get errands done between 8-11am or 2-5pm. If you told me three years ago that I had to have special shopping hours, I'd say you were cuckoo.

I have more appreciation for my mother now. I can understand other women when they tell stories or talk about their children. Before, I was just listening. I couldn't understand because I hadn't given birth. I never have loved a being so completely and deeply as you. From the moment I wake up to the deep sigh as I fall asleep, I think of you. In the middle of the night, I sometimes will listen to you coo and snore through the baby monitor and smile. You are the most precious thing in my life no matter how many sacrifices I make to be a good mom.

The last year has gone by the fastest in my life. Too fast, I wish I could go back in time and rock baby Chloe. You won't be still for more than 10 seconds now. You have two modes, full speed and sleep. You remind me of a puppy in that way. There are moments that will be frozen in my mind forever. The sweet moments of being a Mom, like last week when I picked you up from Mrs Y's. When I walked in the door and you saw me, you clapped your hands and grinned like I was a rock and roll star entering the arena. So, Chloe Jade, I just want you to know I will always be your number one fan too.

All My Love,